Wednesday, March 17, 2010

remembering old dreams

Lucid Dream Notes, January 11, 1995
Results of touch test in context of dream narrative


I went to bed before eleven; I was very tired from an unusually long and hard work schedule, and hadn't had much sleep the night before. But I was adamant that despite these problems, as well as a toothache from a temporary crown, I would have a lucid dream. I listened to S's voice on the lucid dream induction tape, but as I was wound up in addition to being tired, I listened to it three times before I even felt sleepy.

A sleep onset-type lucid dream seemed more likely under these conditions, as opposed to a late morning one, and that's exactly what happened. I managed at last to fall asleep around midnight.
Within the hour I had two lucid dreams separated by a non-lucid period. The overall length resulted in my losing some of the narrative details of the non-lucid part, but the lucid parts remain clear in my memory.

Dream Account:

Vivid Visual Lucidity; Sleep Onset Interior; Careful LD Experiments
Dream goal: to become lucid and conduct an arm touch test (pinch, brush, press)

Not long after falling asleep, it seemed, I was delighted to find myself lucid.

Before my dream-environment fully manifested, I examined very realistic video-type closeup images of colorful vintage jewelry, like those I collect in waking life. To test my lucidity, I even replayed the image (although the appearance of the objects had shifted slightly). One carved necklace was especially interesting, unlike anything I've seen.

After this, I found myself in a simple, well-detailed interior setting; the mood, look and feel of this dream was similar to many other of my sleep onset or 1st cycle lucid dreams over the years.

My sister was around somewhere, but this was more of a concept or implied knowledge until later in the dream, when I interacted with her. There may have been other characters, but I sought to ignore them to help maintain my lucidity.

I remembered and gave eye signals according to that night's waking decision (this time, eight fast movements, left to right), and proceeded with the touch experiment.

First I pinched my left forearm, and was surprised to find there was nothing but the faintest suggestion of physical contact at all. Next, I lightly brushed my fingers over the hairs of my arm, and this time the sensation was extremely realistic, almost a heightened sensation. Then I did the press test; this was faintly realistic, but far less so than waking life. This was a great test; I was pleased that I had successfully carried out my planned activities, and found the results interesting.

I followed this by asking my sister in the dream to tell me what a table was; she responded by saying, "You and your dumb experiments."

I then did some indoor floating and flying, and wanted to practice driving a clutch, but could only manage the accurate movements of feet and hands while seated in an invisible car.

I was always fully lucid throughout these experiences, but the room was dark, and the details of the environment were not the most fabulous I'd ever experienced.

Some non-lucid activity followed, and then some more lucidity of my walking around and looking at things.

end of entry

Closing notes:

My early evening lucid dreams are somtimes more everyday in their look, usually interior, but often last longer than my late morning ones. I was thinking about this even as I was dreaming. Then I woke up, and recorded my experiences in my bedside journal.

* * *

January 14, 1998
My old bedroom
Lucid Dream, sleep onset


Sleep onset lucidity, sudden “snapping in” of lucidity, dream of my mother, experimentation, artwork, stability, touch sensations.

Final dream about Scottish wedding might have been telepathic, as it was dramatically similar to an account of a real event described to T. by a work associate. She volunteered the story before I told her anything about the dream.

Dream Account:

Music Show ends; Fire in Distance; Deciding Not to Steal; Pathetic Philosophy; Neck Tattoos

There’s a song and dance bit, amateur, with some women. One, a blonde, can’t sing and dance too well, but is gorgeous. The show ends, and suddenly I look in the distance and I see it’s a fire. Closer, I see it’s a Clinique makeup counter [in a kind of window area, as I now recall]. People are stealing things. I have a tube of mascara in my hand now [I don’t know how it got there, and I would never steal in waking life]. I palm it for a moment and start to put it in my pocket. Then I decide to put it back, even though I know it’s expensive mascara.

[A white] man greets a black man whom he knows with a series of cynical questions, ending with, “How’s the kids being raised; black or white?” The black man and I share a “can you believe how pathetic this is?” look.

There’s a woman nearby with elaborate tattoos on her neck. I wonder how she’ll feel someday about them. I wonder if some people, having heard tattoos are removable, figure it’s no big deal. The woman has blonde hair and is very tough-looking.

* * *

I’m not sure if this next section is the same date or a later date, as it is not marked. It is separated by a single line from the previous entry.

Talking With Mama about Heaven; Experiment in Egyptian Writing; Scottish Wedding; Young Daddy (Sleep Onset LD)

Dream Account:

Visuals extremely real and bright! It snapped in suddenly. I am in the kitchen with Daddy. He speaks to Mama. I know immediately she is really dead. I turn and see “her”.

“You know, you need to get back up to heaven, but I need a BIG hug first!” I told her. We hug, and then she tells me quite clearly about a book with hats in it, something about some Jewish people. I listen with a kind of panicked feeling as I know, despite how clear her words are coming out, I will have no way of remembering it all.

Then I’m in the living room. I decide to do an experiment. I pick up a beautiful illustration, historical fashion (Egyptian) on heavy parchment. I study it carefully [it is quite lovely and detailed] and it does NOT change as long as I keep it moving. I wonder a minute, as I do this, about the rods and cones of the eye. What if they differed in more than what they respond to? What if they were somehow involved in the event of mental visualization during dreaming? I was quite convinced during this dream that I was onto something [despite how silly it now seems]. Finally I looked completely away from the illustration, and when I returned my gaze it had changed completely. Then I began touching things: a stucco wall [like Paul’s first lucid dream]; some glass in a kind of kitchen (no longer like Mama and Daddy’s house).

Then I’m in the living room. Terry is there. There are lots of people out in front of the house, and then I am outside, too. There are bridesmaids in red tartan full skirts and black velvet jackets. I think how nice it looks.

Oh! I almost forgot. Daddy in the living room, younger, thinner, with more hair. I note this [still lucid].

end of entry

Closing notes:

There may be a relationship between this image in the dream, and a conversation I had with Scott G. about getting older. He had shown me a picture of himself when he was quite a bit younger and better looking, and he was chagrined about it.

Is there a pun on “Scott” in the Scottish wedding party?

Or was the dream telepathic, as Terry—unprovoked in any way—told me shortly thereafter about a friend going to a wedding in Scotland, where the bridesmaids wore plaid!

Nocturne in E flat major, Chopin

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